Mining for diamonds
I’ve felt so calm and clear throughout the last week that I’ve barely felt called to write anything.
As I sit here on a Saturday morning sipping my crispy Diet Coke, I can’t help but recall lyrics from the song Clarity by John Mayer. He croons, “…this morning, there’s a calm I can’t explain. The rock candy’s melted, only diamonds now remain.” I don’t know what caused me to think about such an obscure song from my teenage years, but it perfectly describes how I’m feeling these days. I feel a calm I haven’t felt in months, maybe even years, and with the plans falling into place for my next step in life, it truly feels like the rock candy is melting into diamonds.
In fact, I’ve felt so calm and clear throughout the last week that I’ve barely felt called to write anything. It’s been smooth sailing, easy going, a piece of cake. I’ll take it. Because for years this is what I’ve been craving; begging for even. Clarity in life. A calling to a next step. Purpose.
She’s back, baby.
If you read my last instalment, you’ll know I made the decision to actively pursue writing, starting by taking some journalism courses at the University of Toronto. They officially start in two weeks, and I couldn’t be more excited to get into it.
I’ve also been focused on my part-time day job where I’m now entering a busy few months before the holidays arrive.
Additionally, I am resurrecting a grassroots initiative I founded in 2016, Sarnia Speaks, and am planning an event for World Mental Health Day that’s been a dream in my head since inception.
And finally, I am in the early stages of planning to start a business. I am going to remain tight lipped for now, but once things become more concrete I’ll spill the beans.
The days where I feel pangs of sadness about leaving my influencing career behind are gone. Now, when I reflect back on those days, I feel a sense of relief that they are over. Thankful, yes, always, but happy that the toxicity has slowly seeped it’s way out of my life.
Jealousy replaced with happiness.
Worry replaced with hope.
Anger replaced with excitement.
Frustration replaced with calm.
Who am I?
Will this end?
In Clarity, John Mayer celebrates his calmness but worries if and when it will end. Fitting, isn’t it? Because normally I’d end my writing with a caveat that I know there will always be rough days out there and I’m just thankful for the good days when I have them, but today I’m leaving with hope, happiness, and gratitude. That’s where I want to stay, and for the first time in a long time, it feels like it’s possible. Maybe, after all, I have found some diamonds.